A Little Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.

Craziest Fat Guy Having Trouble At The Beach with Babes in Bikini

One fat guy got stuck on the chair at Miami




Two babes in bikini are trying to free him off the chair.

Fun With Outlet Adapters

This Brazilian dude explains how with three socket adapters, you can turn a three-pronged power chord into a two-pronged one. That’s some pretty ingenius stuff right there. Complicated and unnecessary (why not just buy the correct adapter?) but ingenius nonetheless.

Dating Advice: How to Chat Up Girls...

Dating Expert Matthew and Leah tell you the best way to begin a Chat...

Dating is a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity. Traditional dating activities include entertainment or a meal.
In many cultural traditions, a date may be arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, acquaintance, or professional matchmaker. Recently internet dating has become popular.
Although dating etiquette has become more relaxed during the twentieth century, there are considerable differences between social and personal values.

30 Drunken Homers In 2 Minutes

We all know Homer Simpson is, quite possibly, the greatest character in TV history. But he's somehow even better after he's put back a handful of Duffs. So here he is in his drunken glory.

Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional main character in the animated television series The Simpsons and father of the eponymous family. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta and first appeared on television, along with the rest of his family, in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987. Homer was created and designed by cartoonist Matt Groening while he was waiting in the lobby of James L. Brooks' office. Groening had been called to pitch a series of shorts based on Life in Hell but instead decided to create a new set of characters. He named the character after his father Homer Groening. After appearing on The Tracey Ullman Show for three years, the Simpson family got their own series on Fox, which debuted December 17, 1989.

Arabic Makeup Pictures

include skin-care creams, lotions, powders, perfumes, lipsticks, fingernail and toenail polishes, eye and facial makeup, permanent waves, colored contact lenses, hair colors, hair sprays and gels, deodorants, baby products, bath oils, bubble baths, bath salts, butters and many other types of products.

Video: Supermodel Lucy Pinder...Housework?!?!?

Lucy Pinder shows how housework is meant to be done!
Housekeeping or Housecleaning is the systematic process of making a home neat and clean in approximately that order. This maybe applied more broadly that just an individual home, or as a metaphor for a similar "clean up" process applied elsewhere such as a procedural reform. It can also be called household management, which is the act of overseeing the organizational, financial, day-to-day operations of a house or estate, and the managing of other domestic concerns.

In the process of housekeeping general cleaning activities are completed, such as disposing of rubbish, storing of belongings in regular places, cleaning dirty surfaces, dusting and vacuuming. It is also the care and control of property, ensuring its maintenance and proper use and appearance,. In a hotel housekeeping is a term for the cleaning personnel.

Young Babe - be a co-passenger in the train

Just imagine this young babe in a super short pink skirt becomes your co-passenger in a coupe... Wow! The whole journey would be full of fun and some naughty moments. In railway parlance, 'passenger', as well as being the end user of a service, is also a categorisation of the type of rolling stock used. In the British case, there are several categories of passenger train.

'Express passenger', which constitutes long distance and high speed railway travel between major locations such as ports and cities.[1]
'Semi-fast express passenger', a type of service that is high speed, though stops at selected destinations of high population density en-route.[1]
'Local passenger', the lowest category of British passenger train, which provides a service that stops at all stations between major destinations, for the benefit of local populations.

Extra Marital Affairs - three jokes

The 1st Affair:



A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.



The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.



"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."



"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"



The 2nd Affair:



A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.



The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.



He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"



The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"



The 3th Affair:



A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."



She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."



"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."



No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.



"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."



The 4th Affair:



A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."



"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"



"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"



The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"



The bartender replied,

"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."



The 5th Affair:



Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."



"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"



"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Women feel Safe with Smokers

This is the Best advertisement on Anti-Smoking.
The tobacco control movement is a term used to describe organizations opposed to the practice of smoking, or those which advocate strict regulation of tobacco products due to their associated health risks and addictive potential. Rationales for such advocacy generally include concern over the public health costs of smoking, as well as the hazard posed to non-smokers by secondhand smoke.

The tobacco control movement was pejoratively referred to as the "anti-smoking movement" in internal tobacco industry memoranda, to describe organized threats to their business interests and denigrate public health concerns.

An attractive Blonde is my Neighbor

A man was mowing his yard when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of her house, walked down her driveway, opened her mailbox, looked inside, then slammed it closed and stormed back inside her house. Several minutes later, the same thing happened. As the man was finishing, his neighbor came out a third time and repeated her behavior.

“Is there a problem?” he asked.

“There certainly is,” she replied. “My stupid computer keeps telling me: ‘You’ve got mail’!”

Chanelle in her hot new Black Lingerie

Big Brother has given us some rather questionable stars over the last few years - we're not naming names - but we can all give thanks for Chanelle Hayes. When she went into the Big Brother house in 2007 at the age of 19, she was a pint-sized northern saucepot from Wakefield with a slightly odd Posh Spice obsession. Since she came out, however, she has shunned the usual Big Brother career path of just going to a lot of showbiz parties and opening supermarkets, and has become a top draw in the glamour world, a TV presenter and pop singer.
The lingerie industry has expanded in the 21st century with designs that double as outerwear. The French refer to this as 'dessous-dessus' which basically means innerwear as outerwear. The boutique Faire Frou Frou, which is an antiquated phrase meaning "show it off", heralds this philosophy by categorizing lingerie as an accessory with details such as straps and lace trim that should be layered and shown as part of one's outerwear.

The best reason for watching Big Brother now has her own official website and we reckon its definitely worth a look. Find out about where she will be appearing and all the latest news as she launches her singing career. Worth a look, we think so!.

Girl Knocks Out her Boyfriend - hilarious video

It started out as a fun bubble wrap punch up, but the guy got a little rough and she let him know how she felt about it.

This term is often used loosely, and there is some debate over what exactly constitutes a girlfriend. In western society, it is generally agreed that "girlfriend" status begins when two people agree to date. Getting a girl to agree to such an arrangement is considered a milestone for young males, and is often seen as a sign of status, based on the perception of the girl amongst the male's peers.

New Ramp model - Aria

Lovely Gabrielle shares a few dating tips with us. She says a guy with nice arms and lots of confidence can make her day. Gabrielle is a self employed entrepreneur that likes to travel in her spare time. She told us how she likes when a guy pampers her and treats her like lady.

Karate between father and his baby - Hilarious & Funny

Karate is a striking art using punching, kicking, knee and elbow strikes, and open-handed techniques such as knife-hands (karate chop). Grappling, locks, restraints, throws, and vital point strikes are taught in some styles.
Karate developed in the Ryukyu Kingdom prior to its 19th century annexation by Japan. It was brought to the Japanese mainland in the early 20th century during a time of cultural exchanges between the Japanese and the Ryukyuans. In 1922 the Japanese Ministry of Education invited Gichin Funakoshi to Tokyo to give a karate demonstration. Keio University became the first Japanese university to open a dojo (training hall); by 1932, all Japanese universities had a dojo.

Shigeru Egami, Chief Instructor of Shotokan Dojo, opined "that the majority of followers of karate in overseas countries pursue karate only for its fighting techniques...Movies and television...depict karate as a mysterious way of fighting capable of causing death or injury with a single blow...the mass media present a pseudo art far from the real thing." Shoshin Nagamine said "Karate may be considered as the conflict within oneself or as a life-long marathon which can be won only through self-discipline, hard training and one's own creative efforts."

Naughty Dog with Girls in Bikini at the Park

Girls are at the park for Sun tanning, also called bronzing, is the act of exposing the skin to ultraviolet (UV) radiation, for the purpose of darkening skin color, either during sun bathing or using artificial sources, such as tanning beds.
Excessive exposure to ultraviolet rays has detrimental health effects, including possible burn and even skin cancer.

Tanning is a natural process, whereby the skin creates the brown-colored pigment called melanin, to protect it against the harmful UV rays in sunlight, but operates equally with artificial UV radiation. There are two different mechanisms involved.
Firstly, the UVA-radiation generates oxidative stress, which in turn oxidises pre-existing melanin. This leads to rapid darkening of already existing melanin. Secondly, there is an increased production of melanin (melanogenesis). It is a reaction of the body to photodamage from UVB. This melanogenesis is triggered by the same DNA damage that causes sunburn. Melanogenesis leads to delayed tanning. It first becomes visible about 72 hours after exposure. The tan that is created by an increased melanogenesis lasts much longer than the one that is caused by oxidation of existing melanin.

Milchicng a Cow

Dairy farming and the milking of cattle - once performed largely by hand, but now usually replaced by machine - exploits the cow's unique ruminant biology. Cattle are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by repeatedly regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". The cud is then reswallowed and further digested by specialised microorganisms in the rumen. These microbes are primarily responsible for decomposing cellulose and other carbohydrates into volatile fatty acids that cattle use as their primary metabolic fuel.

The microbes inside the rumen are also able to synthesize amino acids from non-protein nitrogenous sources, such as urea and ammonia. As these microbes reproduce in the rumen, older generations die and their carcasses continue on through the digestive tract. These carcasses are then partially digested by the cattle, allowing them to gain a high quality protein source. These features allow cattle to thrive on grasses and other vegetation.

The Best Limousines in the World

A limousine (or limo) is a luxury vehicle sedan or saloon car, especially one with a lengthened wheelbase or driven by a chauffeur. The chassis of a limousine may have been extended by the manufacturer or by an independent coach builder. These are referred to as "stretch" limousines and are traditionally black or white in color. Limousines are often driven by chauffeurs and until the mid-1990s were most often associated with the very rich. They are also used for special occasions such as weddings, parties and sight-seeing tours.



While some limousines are owned by individuals, many are owned by governments to transport senior politicians, by large companies to transport executives, or by broadcasters to transport guests.







Most stretch limousines, however, operate as livery vehicles, providing upmarket competition to taxicabs. Most builders of stretch limousines are located in the United States and Europe and cater mainly to limousine companies. Few stretch limousines are sold new to private individuals. In addition to luxuries, security features such as armoring and bulletproof glass are available.



The first automobile limousine, built in 1902, was designed so the driver sat outside under a covered compartment.



The word limousine is derived from the name of the French region Limousin, because this covered compartment physically resembled the cloak hood worn by the shepherds there. An alternate etymology has the chauffeur wearing a Limousin-style cloak in the open driver's compartment, for protection from the weather.



The first “stretch limousine” was created in Fort Smith, Arkansas around 1928 by a coach company named Armbruster. These cars were primarily used to transport famous “big band” leaders, such as Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman, and their bands and equipment. These early stretch limousines were often called “big band buses”.







Newer limousines such as the Maybach 62, Rolls Royce Phantom, Audi A8L, Volkswagen Phaeton, Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Jaguar XJ, BMW 760Li, Rover 75, Lincoln Town Car Edition, and the Cadillac DTS do not feature such seats since stretch limousines are usually used to transport more than three passengers, excluding the driver.



In production American limousines however, the jump seats almost always faced forward. The last production limousine, by Cadillac, with forward facing jump seats was in 1987 (with their Fleetwood Series 75 car), the last Packard in 1954, and the last Lincoln in 1939, though Lincoln has offered limousines through their dealers as special order vehicles at times. Several Lincoln Premier cars were also built, one being owned by Elvis Presley. Vehicles of this type in private use may contain expensive audio players, televisions, video players, and bars, often with refrigerators.

Supermodel Gabrielle in a jolly mood

Lovely Gabrielle shares a few dating tips with us. She says a guy with nice arms and lots of confidence can make her day. Gabrielle is a self employed entrepreneur that likes to travel in her spare time. She told us how she likes when a guy pampers her and treats her like lady.

Big B's Paa look revealed!

Paa is a forthcoming 2009 Indian movie directed by R Balakrishnan starring Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan and Vidya Balan.



The film is scheduled for release on December 4, 2009.Veteran composer from Southern India, Ilaiyaraaja is scoring the music.



Paa tells the story of an intelligent and witty 13yr old boy, Auro (Amitabh Bachchan), who suffers from Progeria, an extremely rare genetic disorder wherein symptoms resembling aspects of aging are manifested at an early age.



Auro lives with his mother Vidhya (Vidya Balan), a gynaecologist. Amol Arte (Abhishek Bachchan) is Auro's father is a young politician full of ideals. He is out to prove to the world that 'politics' is not a bad world. The story revolves around the relationship between Amol and Auro.



Parts of the film have been shot in Cambridge, UK. Shooting in Cambridge University was a tough task for the crew as it was rumored that due to Cambridge University regulations, the crew had a difficult time completing the shoot according to schedule.



Some of the filming was originally planned to take place in Cambridge in June 2009. However, due to a conflict with student graduation ceremonies the Abbey Gardens in nearby Bury St Edmunds was used instead. Paa is to be released in India and abroad on December 4, 2009.



Children's Day special! - The music of T-Series 'Paa' which stars father-son Amitabh-Abhishek Bachchan officially launched on 14 November.

Rosie Jones had a Glamour Photoshoot

Glamour photography is a genre of photography whereby people, usually female, are portrayed in such a way as to emphasize attractiveness and charm. According to a tacit convention in photographic practice, glamour photography rarely exposes conspicuously a subject's private physical features. Photographers use a combination of cosmetics, lighting and airbrushing techniques to produce an appealing image of the subject.

Glamour photography is generally a composed image of a subject in a still position. The subjects of glamour photography are often professional models, and the photographs are normally intended for commercial use, including mass-produced calendars, pinups and for men's magazines, such as Playboy; but amateur subjects are also sometimes used, and sometimes the photographs are intended for private and personal use only.

Hottest Women of India

Aishwarya Rai is famous for her stuning blue eyes and winning Miss World in 1994. After her Miss World reign, she got into modeling and acting as has been gracing us with her natural beauty in more than 40 films.



Malaika Arora Khan is an Indian model, VJ, and Bollywood actress. She is the older sister of Amrita Arora. She was selected as an MTV VJ when MTV India first started operating. Eventually she rose to an interviewer for MTV India, becoming the most prominent and non-movie, non-model female in India.



Deepika is a 23 year-old Indian actress/model who was born in Copenhagen, Denmark. Born to an international badminton player and a travel agent, she also played badminton at a state level. She stopped playing badminton and went into modeling, winning the title "Model of the Year" at the Kingfisher Fashion Awards. She has worked as a brand ambassador for Maybelline, Kingfisher Airlines, Levi Struass, and Tissot SA. She's since made the transition into Bollywood films.



Bipasha Basu is a mainstream Indian Bollywood actress who was the winner of Ford's Godrej Cinthol Supermodel contest in 1996. In 2007, the newspaper Eastern Eye selected her as Asia's sexiest woman. Before winning Ford's Supermodel contest, she was studying to be a doctor in college and modeled on the side.



Preity Zinta has appeared in Bollywood films as well as Telugu, Punjabi, and English language films. She graduated with a degree in criminal psychology before making her acting debut in 1998. In addition to acting, she has written a series of columns for BBC News Online, South Asia and is co-owner of the Indian Premier League cricket team Kings XI Punjab.



Lara Dutta has made her name known as an Indian actress, UNFPA Goodwill Ambassador, and Miss Universe 2000. She's currently shooting for House Full which also stars Deepika Padukone. For her recent release, Blue, Lara walked off the project because the film was shot in the water and she shouldn't swim. Eventually she was coerced to return to the film and take swimming lessons. We'd like to be the lucky one to teach her how to swim.



Kareena comes from a family of Bollywood actors and has been in the spotlight since she was very young. Her acting debut came with the 200 film Refugee, for which she won the Filmfare Best Female Debut Award. Her film Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham was India's highest grossing film in the overseas market in 2001 and if her biggest commercial success to date. Kapoor's films continue to win her award after award (her gorgeous looks probably help a bit as well).



Born in Hong Kong to a Kashmiri father and a British Mother, Kaif was raised in Hawaii before moving to England. At 14, she was approached by an agent and began modeling in London. She was them cast by a London based filmmaker in the movie Boom and moved to Mumbai where she started acting in Bollywood films. Katrina Kaif was voted as Asia's Sexiest woman in 2008 by the Eastern Eye and was the most searched celebrity of 2008 on Google India. She's also the model for Mattel's Bollywood Barbie, released in September.



Shilpa Shetty has appeared in more than 40 Bollywood, Tamil, Telugu, and Kannada films since her film debut in 1993. She has a gorgeous younger sister, Shamita Shetty who is also a Bollywood actress. Shilpa won Britian's 2007 Celebrity Big Brother with 63% of the final vote. Shetty also has a black belt in karate and is a dancesport expert.



Priyanka Chopra is the former Miss World 2000, a model, and an Indian actress. Chopra won a Filmfare Best Actress Award for her portrayal of a model in Fashion and established herself as one of the leading contemporary actresses in Bollywood.



Amrita Arora is a Bollywood actress and model who won a VJ Hunt for MTV India and has hosted several shows for the station. She's best know for her stunning good looks and light skin.



Ayesha Takia is a 23 year-old Bollywood actress who got her start in a "I Am a Complan Girl!" advertising campaign. She was then in music video Shake It Daddy which got her noticed by the film industry. Ayesha won the Filmfare Best Debut Award in 2004 for her performance in Taarzan: The Wonder Car.

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Feel the Love... Seriously, can we?

She became the major heart throb of the late ´90s with Party of Five, Can´t Hradly Wait, and I Know What You Did Last Summer; now communicates with the dead every Friday night on Ghost Whisperer; once referred to her breasts as a "great accessory to every outfit." Beats the hell out of a bracelet.



Scottsdale is the most livable city, according to all the plaques all over town. But people die of heatstroke every day, so I don´t know how that´s ´livable.´